Finding the Perfect Holiday Gift

Now that our fall sweets and stuffing holidays are behind us, we are thrown into shopping madness for December's mother of all gift-giving holidays. Whether you brave the retail masses in person or expertly navigate the world wide mall online, beware not to get sucked into the stressful tradition of looking for that perfect gift.  

The worst part of the holiday gift-giving process for me has been wandering around aimlessly from store to store, passing display after display, wondering if the people on my list might like what I am looking at, and getting dizzier by the minute.  This year, I will try approaching the process more strategically and hopefully I might just hit a few targets and survive, unscathed.  Here is some holiday shopping advice I wish I was given years ago.

1) Thoughtful List - Create a master list that indicates all your gift recipients and what they enjoy.  List their favorite hobbies, preferences or idiosyncracies.  If someone on your list who loves to dine out enjoys sushi or eats vegetarian, a gift card to that type of restaurant makes your job that much easier.  Is your niece still obsessed with gymnastics?  Shop online stores for the latest gymnastics apparel or accessories.  Keep this list handy all year so you can add new tidbits about each person, especially after having a chance to catch up with them at the family Thanksgiving reunion.

2) Cash is King - No one likes to stuff cards with cash because it doesn't show effort but a lovely branded gift card to their favorite store in cute packaging solves the issue.  It is a practical gift for those who are traveling or who live far away.  If you still feel like you want to show even more effort on your part, pair it with a gift-wrapped box of one dozen home-made cookies, cookie pops or truffles.

3) Entertain Them - You won't have to worry if you got the wrong color, size or style if you instead focus on the kind of fun that the gift recipient enjoys.  Gift cards for the movies, XBox Live points and e-books are great for older kids.  When buying toys for younger kids, if you want to avoid the long lines, toys are best purchased online as there are plenty of free shipping offers on minimum purchases. Consolidate your online shopping if possible in order to maximize these offers.  For parents, you might opt to give a "date night" that includes dinner with babysitting.  

4) Support the Local Buzz - For that favorite teacher or friends and family who live in the area, go local.  Support your local restaurants, bakeries, delis and sandwich shops, salons or stores that have recently popped up around town.  Even gift certificates for classes or workshops offered through the town Parks and Recreation office would be great.  Maybe that friend or family member has always wanted to try yoga or learn how to paint or shoot photography like an expert.  You might also know of local reps for direct to consumer companies who sell home goods, jewelry and the like.  Check out Oswegatchie School's upcoming One Stop Shopping Night on Thursday, Dec. 6 from 5:00-8:00 pm.  You will feel good knowing you have helped your local economy.

5) Get Digitally Creative - Everyone appreciates personalized gifts. Today there are more options than ever before.  Use favorite family photos to create one-of-a-kind pillow, throw or tote bag keepsakes.  If you recently traveled or celebrated a milestone occasion with a family member, put together a hard-cover photo book online.  Sites like Shutterfly, Snapfish and any digital photo printing service at a local retailer have really simplified this process.  Take it one step further if you are talented at producing your own video montages; combine photos with video footage and set it to music.  Believe me, this is a gift like no other, especially for grandparents or family who live far away.

6) Make a Pact - Given the tough economic times, you may want to shorten your gift-giving list this year by making a pact with some friends and family members. Maybe you agree not to exchange gifts this year and instead pick a fun destination or activity to do together to celebrate.  Maybe only the children receive gifts and the adults only participate in a limited value Yankee swap, a fun gift-giving game with guaranteed laughs.  It's about showing that you care, not about the stuff, right?

And above all,

7) Don't Wait - Do not allow yourself to wait until the last minute to give any thought to the above options or you will risk falling into the pit of gift-shopping despair.  If all else fails, you can always stuff cash into a fancier card that sings or lights up.  And don't forget to come bearing sweets or a fancy distilled beverage of any kind.  Both are guaranteed to elicit good times!

School Rallies for Emily

Dedicating a fun event to benefit a very ill child, has the power to make a dramatic difference in a 10-year-old's life. So is the decision for a family in need to accept help.

Gigiotti with Guarraia and Macione.

     On Friday, June 1st, Oswegatchie Elementary School students and staff performed at their annual talent show. There was a variety of very entertaining Disney-themed acts, including a combination of high energy and soulful singers, dancers, musicians, gymnasts, martial artists, hula hoopers, jump ropers and even a twirler. The teachers and staff also delighted students and the audience with their choreographed ensemble routine.
     The original plan was to donate all of the show's proceeds toward the Cactus Jack Foundation. But when members of the Oswegatchie school community learned that fifth grader Emily Feldman is currently fighting a rare health condition known as Moyamoya disease, they acted quickly.  Kim Saucier, one of the teachers involved with directing the talent show immediately proposed to Amie Guarraia, fellow teacher and director of the show, that they approach the school's principal about splitting the proceeds between the two worthy causes.
     According to the Mayfield Clinic for Brain and Spine, Moyamoya disease is a disorder caused by blocked arteries at the base of the brain, a life-threatening condition that requires Emily to undergo surgery that focuses on reducing risk of stroke and restoring blood flow to the brain. The name "moyamoya" means "puff of smoke" in Japanese and describes the appearance of the tangle of tiny vessels that form to compensate for the blockage. In the United States, the risk of developing Moyamoya is less than one in 100,000.
     When Oswegatchie Principal Nancy Macione announced that the event had raised a total of $1,311, Cactus Jack Foundation's representative Tim Gigliotti joined her and Amie Guarraia on stage to accept the check on behalf of the foundation and the Feldman family. He went on to surprise everyone by stating that Cactus Jack Foundation was not only donating their half of the proceeds to the Feldmans, but was matching it as well.
     “Emily is so happy to know that so many people care about her,” said Andrew Feldman, Emily's father.
     He said at first it was very difficult for Emily to let people know about her health condition. She didn't want to be labeled as different from everyone else. But it became very important for her teachers to learn about her health challenges and to work around it as a matter of precaution.
     The Feldmans also worried about the cost of the extensive medical treatments that Emily will be soon undergoing.
     “It's been a tough year,” said Feldman. “I was unemployed for 6 months and recently got a new job so I'm just getting back on my feet.”
     Although his wife is employed as a nurse, she will need to take a leave of absence to care for Emily post-operation and there will be a lot of travel involved between their home in Waterford and Boston Children's Hospital where Emily will be treated.
     “At first our family felt it was best to keep everything private, for Emily's sake,” said Feldman. “But the more we opened up to people that we are in need, the more I realized that we have to learn to accept support in order to triumph over adversity. It has made all the difference in the world for Emily and my family.”
     Feldman credits a physical therapist for pinpointing the true source of all of Emily's health issues. She was there at the recommendation of doctors after she complained of severe foot pain. After observing that one side of her body was significantly weaker than the other, the physical therapist urged that Emily receive some neurological testing. Over the past ten years, Feldman said Emily experienced some very concerning symptoms, from her inability to move one arm as an infant, to collapsing one day at preschool, to having vision, cognitive and hand eye motor skill issues in recent years. He said her primary care physician did not consider her symptoms serious because they were intermittent.
     In hindsight, he wished that more diagnostic tests were done much earlier, but it takes major symptoms and a life-threatening diagnosis for insurance to cover testing expenses.  As a former ballet dancer who is attuned to the body, Feldman said he "immediately knew something was askew" with Emily's health.  It is now considered very likely that all of Emily's symptoms over the years were probably related. Emily 's fainting spells may have been mild transient ischemic attacks (TIA) or mini-strokes due to partially blocked arteries in the brain. Eye glasses and orthotics for flat feet were not the answer to her problems.

     The Feldmans consider the many blessings in Emily's situation. They feel fortunate that she has had few symptoms despite her advanced Moyamoya condition. As they await Emily's surgery date on June 19, their main concern is to keep her hydrated, to keep her blood flow volume strong.
     “Youth is on her side. I am thankful that she is young, flexible and malleable,” said Feldman.
      It was important to Emily that she not miss any school. Their family was thankful that she could continue to have some semblance of normalcy after she was diagnosed. She will have the summer to recover and look forward to resuming normal activity one month after the surgery.
     “I have my faith and I appreciate the support of my family, friends and community,” said Feldman. “I feel like everything is going to be okay.”

If you live in the area, you can help Emily in her challenge to fight Moyamoya disease by going bowling with friends and family at Holiday Bowl (also known as Spare Time) in Groton this Friday, June 8^th from 7:00-9:00pm. Tickets are 12.00 each - call 860 235 4654 or e-mail arwenjinn@aol.com or just pay at the door.

To view Emily's Facebook site about her journey to overcome Moyamoya Disease and find out how you can help if you are not able to attend the event, click here: http://www.facebook.com/emilymoyamoya

For more general info about Moyamoya Disease click here: http://www.mayfieldclinic.com/PE-Moyamoya.htm 

Unclutter...for Everyone's Good!

Temple Emanu-El hosted a community tag sale on May 20th.

A pile of junk in the house has the potential to accomplish a lot of good in a community.  Yet some people balk at the idea of setting up a yard sale.  They cringe at the thought of going through their stuff, hauling items outside and sitting out there for hours, only to possibly be insulted by nickel and dime offers.  The truth is that by tapping into a community tag sale, everyone seems to benefit; the takers, the givers and beyond.
     This past weekend Temple Emanu-El, of Waterford, held a successful community tag sale.  They were encouraged by their first tag sale last Fall.  A few weeks ago, they invited congregants and the general public to lease a spot as a tag sale vendor or donate items that were still in good working condition toward the tag sale.  Their vendor fee served as a donation to the Temple, a 501(c)3 non-profit organization which actively supports other important institutions in our area, including the Habitat for Humanity, the New London Soup Kitchen and the Interfaith Food Locker.  Congregants who were willing to donate all their proceeds to the Temple did not need to pay the vendor fee. 
     The beauty of the community tag sale was that there were many hands involved.  Each tag saler was responsible for setting up his or her own table in a designated section of the Temple's parking lot.  The tag saler cars showed up.  Items were quickly disembarked.  Cars were parked.  The Temple had reserved a limited number of tables.  Some tag sale item donors who could not commit to sitting at a tag sale table were given the opportunity to drop off their donations ahead of time.  Pick-ups were arranged for the elderly.  On the morning of the event, enough volunteers willingly sorted through the donation items and quickly arranged them into some order on the designated Temple tag sale tables.
     It was a lovely sun-kissed day of negotiations in the Temple's parking lot.  There was a steady stream of tag sale shoppers that arrived to check out advertised items from a 10-foot rowboat to home goods, sports equipment, children's items, books and more.  There were also wonderful refreshments available for purchase at the bake sale table.  Children had a thrilling shopping experience.  Their one dollar went a long way.
     The best part of the community tag sale was clean-up because there was no drudgery involved whatsoever.  Diane Johnson, who introduced herself as a representative of Waterford High School's Drama Club, asked a key question while perusing the tables.
     "What are you going to do with all the unsold items at the end of the tag sale?" she said.
     "Goodwill.  Why, are you looking for some items for a tag sale too?" one of the Temple's tag sale volunteers replied. 
     It was a matter of fact.  The Waterford Drama Club was in the midst of collecting items for their upcoming tag sale on June 2nd.  Last Fall, Temple Emanu-El also had the fortune of meeting a member of the Waterford Historical Society, who was in preparation for their tag sale the following week too.  It was destiny once again.
     "By the way," I said later, as a group of us helped load up her pick-up truck with the remaining tag sale items.  "Would you mind circulating some flyers for us at your tag sale?  Temple Emanu-El is hosting its annual Silent & Live Auction on June 2nd, the same day as your tag sale.  It's at 6:30pm that evening."
     "Sure," she said.  "I would be happy to hang some of the flyers up and hand some out."
     So partner up with members of your organization or even neighbors on your street.  Frequent tag saler shoppers like multi-family tag sales because it shortens the list of stops they have to make around town.  Donors and sellers will be blessed with open space in their homes.  Takers can enjoy their new affordable treasures.  Fundraisers like this help ensure that Temple Emanu-El will continue to exist and actively support social action causes in the area.
     Cost and labor efficient fundraisers like community tag sales benefit everyone.  You can start today.  If you live in the area, go through your stuff and contact Diane Johnson at the Waterford Drama Club about your tag sale donations or shop their tag sale on June 2nd.  Afterwards, (shameless plug alert), check out Temple Emanu-El's Silent and Live Auction at 6:30pm that evening! 

For out-of-town readers of this blog, I invite you to Shop for Some Good.  Help support Temple Emanu-El's online auction, which closes this Friday May 25th.  There's still time to bid on fantastic items... www.templeauction.com

The Second Straw (House)

One hour and forty minutes east of the first pioneer in the state of Connecticut, a second straw house is now in construction, making history in Eastern Connecticut.

     Two weeks ago, I received an e-mail from a friend, an invitation to attend a straw bale raising at the site of her young family's future home in Lisbon, CT. It was going to take place over the weekend. Children were welcome. We could drop by any time of day; we could stay for as short or as long as we desired. We could raise one or two bales or simply come to check it out. There would be a tent with food. Whatever the activity was, the upbeat invitation sounded like a fun time with families. More importantly, it offered me and my family a chance to experience something unique.

     Originally from New York City and a resident of Waterford for the past ten years, I was naturally curious and welcomed new experiences. My mind was filled with many questions. I wondered if straw bale raising had something to do with those giant marshmallow-like white masses that periodically appeared on the field near the north-bound Interstate 95 ramp in Waterford. Was it a gathering of people who will do heavy work together to make it lighter work and socialize at the same time? I did not want to appear clueless by asking, so before responding to the invitation, I did a quick Google search on straw bale raising. My search led me to words like "environmental building," "people stacking bales like building blocks" and "new material for modern construction."

     This past weekend, my family experienced the joy of community and the courage of green living at our first straw bale raising party. We brought along another family we knew who were also into nature and the outdoors. More people meant more efficiency and multiplied cheer. We were blessed with perfect weather, bright skies and radiating warmth, so it was easy to convince the kids and our friends to spend time outdoors learning about something new together.

     The first thing that struck me when we arrived at the site on Saturday morning was the many cars parked at the foot of the property. There weren't any pick-up trucks or contractor vans. These were family sedans. The wood frame and roof of a one and a half story home currently under construction was alive with activity. To the left of the structure, there was a long truck filled with two-string bales of straw. One person's job was to toss the bales from deep inside the truck to someone waiting on the ground, whose job it was to stack them neatly for the next person, who was operating a chainsaw to trim the bales until the edges were smooth and firm like brick. Once trimmed, these bales were then raised above the cement foundation and passed to the person waiting in the frame of a doorway to the house who then stacked them neatly in the middle of the structure. Two people, who clearly knew what they were doing, were stacking bales against the wall, between two window openings. They aligned and secured them to the wall. Other people were gathering loose straw and placing them into jumbo trash bags; these would be used to make straw plaster later on.

     "How can we help?" I said, ready to plunge into the activity.

     My husband and the other couple we brought along were also all ears, ready to pitch in. The kids were already exploring the early stage construction, mesmerized by the sight of a house's skeletal joints and ribs. They had never before had the ability to see through a floor or through walls to the outside of a home from inside. They climbed the open steps up to the loft to admire the view of the landscape behind the house and then down into the dark basement space.

     "I'm really beat," said Benjamin Shiling, one of the homeowners and leaders of the project onsite.

     It was Day Two of the straw bale raising. He and his wife Jennifer, their friends and family had been working non-stop since the day before.

     "Now is a good time to take a break. Let me give you a quick tour."

     He showed us where their architect had planned the living room, the dining area, the bathroom, the two bedrooms and loft. The house will be insulated by tightly compacted straw bales and the interior as well as exterior walls would later be constructed from plastered straw walls.

     "We purchased the land over four years ago and attended a straw bale building workshop in Vermont for several days," said Jennifer Shiling.

     I was under the impression that Ben built homes for a living. But his day job was supervising technical support at a community center and she was busy homeschooling her preschoolers and caring for her infant. They hired an architect to design and contractors to build their new home. Their contractors paused work on the house to give Ben and Jenn the opportunity to install their straw bale insulation into the home. They were coached further onsite before the straw bale raising project's start by one of their straw bale workshop mentors.

     "What made you decide to use straw bales for your home?" I inquired.

     "The material is natural so it's non-toxic and it is more energy-efficient for heating and cooling than typical insulation material," she said.

     According to Andrew Morrison, founder of Straw Bale Innovations, LLC and designer and builder of both conventional and straw bale homes, a typical straw bale wall is roughly three times as efficient as conventional framing.

     "Over the life of a typical thirty year mortgage, this superior insulation can reduce energy costs by up to 75%, saving money and vital natural resources," states his company's website at www.strawbale.com.

     His website also states that straw bale homes are fire-resistant because "due to their tight compaction, bales contain very little oxygen and thus resist combustion."

     I was very impressed. Not only because the Shilings had given great thought to the use of safer, more energy-efficient and sustainable material for their home, but because they committed themselves to researching and learning how to lead and implement such a massive, time-consuming undertaking.

     "What can I do to help?" I said, ready to exert effort.

     For the next couple of hours, my family and I became part of the community that had come to help move, trim, stack and secure straw bales. My husband moved straw bales out of the truck to the stacks waiting to be trimmed. My son and I moved the fifty-pound trimmed bales that were sitting in the middle of the house to what would eventually become a bedroom. Jenn felt that this room's straw bale walls needed to be completed before moving on to other areas of the house.

     We took a lunch break and then it was time for my family to move on to our next agenda item that day. If we weren't expecting visitors from out of town that day, I would have liked to stay for the rest of the day to help the Shilings some more. I felt like I was more of a tourist and did not accomplish enough to help them out.

    "When we first brought it up everyone thought we were crazy," said Jenn to me as we said our good-byes. "Now it's really happening. Thanks for coming...for the moral support."

The Shiling's home is the second straw bale home to be constructed in the state of Connecticut, according to http://sbregistry.greenbuilder.com. For more information about straw bale houses, check out www.strawbale.com.

Little Hands Make Fun Work

Do you remember how old you were when you first physically felt the effects of real work?  I couldn't wait to get my working papers when I turned fourteen.  I woke up that morning, excited to open my presents from Mom and Dad.  I blew my candles.  Later that day, I was on a train to Brooklyn to fill out an application from the Department of Labor.  I was finally old enough to earn my own income.  Even if I knew that part time hours at minimum wage would only amount to enough money for the movies, I felt enormous pride that day.

I was following in the footsteps of my older brother, who had at that point already worked as a restaurant busboy, pizza delivery boy and McDonald's cashier.  Money was tight for our immigrant family, so it was important for us to develop our own streams of pocket money.

I also remember talking at length with my father about the value of having strong typewriting skills.  This is how he paved a career for himself in government accounting in the Philippines.  He typed and entered data at tremendous speed, with pinpoint accuracy.  He inspired me to start learning how to type on my own at nine-years-old.  I set a newspaper article beside my typewriter and typed what I read, fumbling around the keyboard.  As a result, my semester in junior high school typing class went very smoothly.  I was quickly placed on many short-term clerical assignments during my college summers.  And that helped me to fill in my resume and gather recommendations.

My oldest is now twelve years old; my youngest is eight.  I worry about their generation not having the same kind of impetus and appreciation for work.  It is important to me that they understand where all their stuff comes from; that everything is paid for through hard work, whether the work is done through a complex corporate job or through the physical and emotional labor required in running a household and nurturing a family.

One day, I found myself asking my kids a rhetorical question.

"Everyone in this family has a job," I said.  "Do you know what your job is?"

"Going to school and doing my homework?" said my oldest.

"Putting away my toys?" said my youngest.

I was very happy to see that they were able to discern on their own that they had responsibilities as members of our household.  Over time, they understood the important role they played in the family each time they set or cleared a table or took the dog out for a little play in the yard.  But they could contribute more.

On New Year's Day, we made it a family mission to organize the garage.  It seems that every six months we need to purge family clutter as our busy lives sometimes prevent us from putting things where they belong.  Enough was enough.  We wanted to start the new year with clear minds and unblocked paths.  It worked wonders for all of us.  Every time we opened the garage door, it was so satisfying to see everything in its place.  What I found even more moving about this simple family activity was that we were together all day, evaluating whether or not we still needed something, whether it could be recycled or donated and more importantly, that their little hands made a difference.

Today my youngest accompanied me to work a pancake fundraiser at her school.  Weeks ago, when I read on a school flyer that they were still in need of volunteers, I thought this might be a good opportunity for me to teach her about volunteer work.  When I reminded her last night that we needed to be up early to report at 7:30 a.m., she responded with groans and moans.

"But remember, you committed to this.  Your school is counting on our help," I said.  "There's a lot to do to run a pancake fundraiser and if you don't go, they'll be short one person."

"But I didn't know it was going to be so early!" she whined.

She was dressed and on time, ready to work, but not thrilled about it.  In the car we had a chat.

"Do you know what the word volunteer means?" I said to her.

"Yeah, it means you work for free."

"You're right.  But it also means other things.  You are giving your time and energy."

"To help people!" She finished my sentenced, beginning to perk up.

"Yes, today's pancake fundraiser will raise money to pay for after-school programs and enrichment activities at your school."

"Like basketball, Spanish club and Spirit Days?"

"Yes.  Exactly!"

When we arrived at the school, she was pleasantly surprised to see one of her classmates and recognized other fellow students and their siblings who were also there to work.  These were children of parents who were regular volunteers at school functions.  It was a natural extension of what they do as involved families.  While I poured batter and flipped pancakes and chatted with other volunteer parents, I caught a glimpse of her having fun while she worked.  I heard her busily shuffling around the cafeteria and hallways with her young co-workers, wiping down tables as families finished their pancake breakfasts to prep for new families.  I watched her laugh and smile as she inspected the little red buckets of candies that served as treat bowls and table centerpieces, ready to refill them.  At the end, she helped put away decorations that were hanging on the wall and on the tables.

"Mom, when are we going home?" she finally said to me, dragging her feet and looking utterly exhausted.  Her smiles and energy had been depleted.  Her body now understood the true meaning of work.

"Welcome to volunteer work!" I said to her, embracing her as a matriculated member of our volunteer team.

This brought back some warmth to her face.  As other parents helping with clean-up also commended her on a job well done, her spark came back.  She, too, beamed with pride in the spirit of hard work.